This Kebab (كباب) is a heady mix of all the known heady mixes in the world, including Chenjeh Kebab, Kebab Koobideh, Jujeh Kebab, Shiwa, Tas Kebab, Kebab Halla, Döner Kebab, Kakori Kebab, Chappal Kebab, Burrah Kebab, Pasar Malam Kebab, Chelow kebab (چلوکباب), Seekh Kabab (سيخ کباب), Shami Kabab (شامي کباب), Chapli Kabab (چپلي کباب), Chicken Kabab (مرغ کباب), Lamb Kabab (کبابِ برہ گوشت), Bihari Kabab (بہاری کباب), Shashlik (شیشلیک ), Bun Kebab (بن کباب), Shawarma (شاورما), Tikka Kabab (تکہ کباب) and most other kebabs. This divine dish is specially cooked up by our enlightened master Nithya Sexananda, as the first item that he invented for his followers immediately after enlightenment at 22.
This Tantric dish, though originally developed for the people of Tamil Nadu, found its hungry buyers in USA, Canada, Singapore, Malaysia, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Turkey and wherever the true seekers of a master chef are born. It also suits Persian, Arabic, Turkish, Cypriot, Kurdish, Iraqi, Pakistani, Indian, Central Asian, South Asian and some of the African seekers of meditative obesity in a wild party environment typical of Las Vegas and Californian lifestyles with liberal sprinkling of low-fat corporate bonus structures.
Ingredients: Select a wide range of scriptures of all cults, keep a sizeable stock of extramarital sex oils, rape seeds, freshly cut fraud leaves, and tender flesh of your choice, but preferably of young pigs, snakes, cattle, camels, elephants, tigers, leopards, wild dogs, spotted deer, or anything locally available. Keep some ready stock of item numbers from Hollywood, Bollywood, Kollywood, Sandalwood, Tollywood, Mollywood, or your local brands for emergency massage on freshly stripped flesh.
Standby Chefs (if the master is cooking something for the CDI): Only chefs of Aghori origin can cook this kebab. If they are not available locally, try some Kapalikas chefs.
Make a fine paste of all the hot and spicy things from the items listed above. Start heating it on slow fires, preferably of sandalwood or bones or cremation ground flames. Make sure that you keep the mix in a spittoon or a tin container of the type in your local garbage dump.
When the mix is giving out bubbles, start chanting the Nithya Mantra Ohm Sexanandaya Nemaha, Ohm Kamasutraya Nemaha, Ohm Vatsayanaya Nemaha, with full concentration on the Master Sexananda’s cosmic consciousness. When everyone does so, the collective unconsciousness is to be poured into the steaming mix along with all the meats and flesh kept ready. When every thing is mixed together in a thick paste, add liberal amounts of lies, rapeseeds, histrionics, Boobquake, and similar locally available ingredients.
As open-field fires are preferred for slow-cocking, you can easily find a nearby cremation ground where free fuel can be obtained. Typical vegetables that can be secretly mixed for guests include eggplant, tomato, bell pepper, onions, and mushrooms.
For juicy ketchups, Mexican ants, Chinese earthworms, Malaysian or Singaporean lizards can be thinly sliced and then ground to a paste in your mixer grinder.
Sliced lamb, beef or chicken, is to be roasted on a vertical rotating spittoon. If kebab is served in pita bread with salad or French flies on the side, this ketchup is a high-energy item that instantly elevates your mood to organic heavenly levels and all the negativity in your system vanishes into the Advaita galaxies.
The best time to serve is usually from 10 pm to 4 am, for Belgium, The Netherlands, Ireland, New Zealand, Canada and Scandinavia, when brunette pizzas and blonde cakes start tasting stale.
Warning: this dish needs an experienced guru to teach you all the intricacies of it. Don’t DIY! Our course fee for a 21 day course is only $6000. Register immediately and get a free rub from the master. You need to sign a nondisclosure contract before joining the course. Payment accepted in cash only in true Vedic Traditions! Females get 99% cash discount from the master, and will be given title of Ma Nithya Kababananda, or similar ones. All terms and conditions can change without notice; no refunds will be made under any circumstances.
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